When one door of happiness closes, another opens, but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us.
Helen Keller
A lesson I am continuing to learn is one of patience. Because there are times when I feel that I am doing what is right, and noble, and fair, but God has other plans. And it's not that my plans were bad, but maybe I couldn't see the consequences of letting them go unchecked.
It's not that God is up in Heaven, bored out of His mind, trying to screw with my life for entertainment. It's that He loves me too much to leave me as I am. There are areas that I would be perfectly content with just leaving alone, and letting them play out.
But God isn't a being of complacency. He is building, shaping, and sharpening each individual who is saved by His grace; but that re-working of our souls doesn't just happen. It takes failures, defeats, and hardship to rescue us from ourselves. We can't just build ourselves, we can't try to figure things out alone. We need to be honest with God, and say "Ok, I don't know what's going on, I don't know why You're letting this happen, but I trust that You know what You are doing."
And to be honest, I don't know what's going on. I don't know why God is closing some of the doors that He is slamming shut. I don't know why now. But I will. The beginning gives us a mark of reference, that we can look to in order to see our progress. The journey is when we face difficulties, crawl through our muck, and decipher God's loving discipline from Satan's shame. And at the end, we can look back and see why each decision lead us to where we end up.
Our lives amass so much pain and hurt, but there is one who faced it all. One who lived, died, and lives.. for me, in me, and with me.
I don't have to know, right now, why these situations and losses are happening. But in the end, I will be able to see God's perfect plan, working in my imperfect life.
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